“Look and see, there is no one at my right hand; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.”
– Psalm 142:4
Several years ago, I experienced a horrible bout of loneliness. For several weeks, I’d wake up, sit on my couch, put my hand on my cheek, and pray, “Lord, this loneliness is killing me, please do something about it.” For several weeks, I felt like I was all on my own, that nobody cared about me and nobody wanted me. It was awful!
King David experienced a time of loneliness in his life. He was a man with multiples wives and had over 400 men who stood with him in battle, but Saul wanted to kill him. He didn’t focus on what he had, but the problem in his life. Because he was looking at the problem in his life, he penned in Psalm 142 that he was alone and no one cared for him. Was that statement true? Absolutely not!
Whether married or single, we all experience bouts of loneliness. We feel like we are on an island by ourselves, even though our homes and lives are full of people. Feelings of loneliness can affect our physical health and emotional well-being. Loneliness can be crippling. The reality of loneliness is that it is not a state of solitude, but a state of mind.
Many factors can cause a feeling of loneliness including moving to a new location or taking a new position. People can feel lonely in a marriage when their relationship with their spouse is not healthy. A student can feel lonely when they are rejected by a group of peers. Or a family member makes a decision that the rest of the family shuns them for and they feel lonely.
God has given us His Word, His Spirit, and His People to help us overcome it. Don’t do it alone! Reach out to people your church and church leaders to help you through it!
How do we combat this feeling of loneliness? Here are some ways I found to be helpful…
- Pray and ask God to help you see your situation through His eyes and not yours. Ask the Lord to show you the people who love you and care about you. God will do it!
- Praise God! I found that uplifting worship music is so beneficial to my soul.
- Study about God’s love and promises to you in the Bible. Write the verses down that are meaningful to your situation and read them daily.
- Journal! I found that when I write my thoughts down, it helps me empty my mind of the problem. I also make it a habit to write down all the things I’m grateful for. When I focus on what I do have, it makes what I don’t have just a bit smaller.
- Develop quality relationships. When it comes to relationships, it is not about quantity but quality. A great way to do that is to connect to a small group at FBCBA. In doing so, you surround yourself with people who will love you and help you when you struggle with loneliness.
- Serve! When you focus on helping others in need, your problem will be smaller than it is in your mind.
- Tell someone! If you are experiencing a bout of loneliness, call someone and tell them about it. Ask them to pray for you.
If you are not struggling with loneliness, know that others around you could be. Make it a habit every day to tell people around you that they are a blessing and wanted. Pray for people you know who are struggling with loneliness and reach out to them with a phone call or a text.
If you are lonely, pray this…
Lord, I feel all alone and that no one cares. But I know that You are with me and You will never forsake me. Help me to process these feelings based on Your Truth. Help me to praise You in the midst of these feelings and help me to not isolate myself, but to reach out to others. Change my thinking I pray, Lord!
If you know someone who is struggling with loneliness, pray this…
Lord, I pray for ______. Help them see themselves as dearly loved and cherished by You. Please surround them with people to love build and uplift them. Help me to know how I can minister to_____. Do work in their lives and help them to see Your Truth! In Jesus Name I pray.
Director of Women’s Ministry
First Baptist Broken Arrow